How to Survive at Chucky Cheese

 

by Glenn Erikson

 

Before you begin your adventure at Chucky Cheese, be aware that this is not your ordinary pizzeria. Chucky Cheese is a child’s dream to eat at. However, for adults, it is a living hell if you’re not totally prepared both financially and emotionally. To prepare yourself financially, you must first look through your coupon box, and hope you have a coupon for Chucky Cheese to lessen your expenses. Next, stop off at your local ATM machine and withdraw enough money to cover your high-priced adventure.

 

Now that you are equipped financially, prepare yourself mentally. When you enter this carnival extravaganza called Chucky Cheese, try to remember how exciting a place like this would have been to you when you were a child. For instance, when I was a kid, I was excited when I had the opportunity to go to Shakey’s Pizza, because they had a couple of pinball machines there. However, Shakey’s can’t compare to Chucky Cheese. Think of this experience as a chance to rekindle some childhood excitement. Who knows, you just might enjoy yourself!

 

As you enter Chucky Cheese, don’t be alarmed at the kids screaming and crying as they are being dragged out of the restaurant by their stressed-out parents. As you walk in, take a couple deep breaths to calm the hairs that are standing up on the back of your neck. You notice a doorman as you enter, and you may think, “Great, a cover charge.” Don’t worry. There’s no cover charge; the pizza prices are high enough to cover the restaurant’s expenses. The doorman is there for security. While waiting in line, you’ll see him stamp the hand of each member of your party. Upon leaving, the doorman checks everybody’s stamp, making sure that no child leaves with someone else. That insures that your kids are safe and won’t be subject to any violence at this fun place.

 

After you get inside, go over to the pizza counter. Look over the coupon you brought with you, decide what pizza you want, and give the coupon to the pizza cashier with your order. Prepare to pay an outrageous price, even with the coupon. As you leave the counter, remember to take your order number so that your pizza can be delivered to your table. After going through the self-service beverage stand, find a table for your family . This might seem like an impossible task on a Friday or Saturday night since these two nights are the busiest of the week to go out for dinner, especially at Chucky Cheese.

 

As you seat yourselves, you may notice a large stage covered by a big curtain up in the front of the room. Then all of a sudden, you hear a band playing. Looking toward the stage, you see some oversized mechanical zoo animals playing musical instruments and singing. All the children in the audience become quiet and watch in amazement this modern day technology band . After a short time, your hot, steaming pizza arrives at your table, and you watch the expression on your children’s faces. Their eyes gleam with excitement as they are each handed a slice of pizza.

 

Once the pizza is gone, you’re ready to leave and you start walking toward to exit. Before you can escape, though, your children yell, “Mom/Dad, we have games to play!” With that, you know you’re not going to get out of Chucky Cheese easily.

 

When you walk into the gameroom, the only thing you can hear is children screaming and the ding, bing, dong of the video games. As you start to feel overwhelmed by the noise and craziness, take control of your emotions: Don’t freak out. How do you think your children would react if they walked into an adult’s workplace? They would probably have a lot of nervousness, just like you do right now walking into a kid’s playland. Instead of feeling tense, try to revert back to your childhood and just enjoy yourself. You’ll not only have a good time, you will probably improve your relationship with your child.

 

So reach into your right front pocket, pull out your wallet, buy a handful of tokens, and hand them to your children. Join right in playing video games, skeeball, and any of the other games that are there. Depending on how well you score in these games, you will receive a certain number of tickets. Take the tickets to the counter, where you can redeem them for imported Chinese trinkets. You discover that you are having a blast, and in no time at all, the tokens are gone and so is your budget for Chucky Cheese.

 

The time has come to leave. When you inform the children that it is time to go, they whine and cry to stay and play one more game. Be firm and don’t budge in your decision, even if you almost have to drag your children out to the car. On your way out, you will see other families entering Chucky Cheese. You can see the excitement and glee in the children’s eyes, while on the other hand you see doubt on some of the parents’ faces. If one of the parents asks, “Is it bad in there tonight?” reply, “It’s all that you make it.”

 

Driving home in the car, reflect on your adventure. The children may be surprised at how much fun their old fuddy-duddy parent could be. I remember having that exact feeling towards my dad also after a trip to Shakey’s Pizza. It’s funny how some things don’t change.